The Runner Code - Part 1 explored some serious parameters that characterize joggers and footracers—age, weight, sex, speed, distance preferences, etc. Now, for a few other interesting issues ...

Portable Music Players

• i— = when I see people using iPods during a run, I rip their ear buds out and crush their hard drives under my heel
• i– = MP3 players distract runners, make them unaware of their surroundings, expose them to unnecessary risk of assault or accident, etc.—thus the use of iPods should be strongly discouraged
• i0 = good runners don't use MP3 players when training, and certainly not when racing—but I could see how they might be an acceptable crutch for people who are just getting started
• i+ = musical accompaniment is fun, like chatting with a friend—especially during boring jogs on a treadmill
• i++ = good tunes help me train harder and make my long runs happier and better
• i+++ = my playlist is my soul; they'll have to pry my iPod out of my cold, dead hand when they find me lying by the trail
• iz = I neither want nor need canned music—running produces a zen-like state of mindful enlightenment as I listen to the harmony of my body and the universe

Drugs

• d– = drugs are for cheaters; users should be exposed and banned from competition
• d- = caffeine may be OK, but I like to listen to my body and prefer not to take anything that would muffle its voice
• d0 = electrolyte replacement supplements are all right, and so is ginger to settle an upset stomach, but nothing more ... well, maybe a beer or a glass of wine after a good race
• d+ = I take analgesics if I'm really aching; antihistamines are handy in case of an allergic reaction
• d++ = "Vitamin I"—don't leave home without it!
• d+++ = I take prescription meds so I can run better, sometimes other people's prescription meds—you got a problem with that?
• d++++ = the only tune on my iPod is "Mamma's Little Helper" ... my motto is "Better Living Through Chemistry" ... EPO, HGH, anabolic steroids, I've tried 'em & they work ... wanna trade?
• dz = my body is my temple; I would never pollute it by using unnatural substances

Pacers

• P— = pacers are for Losers; anyone using a pacer should be DQ'd and never be allowed to race again
• P– = pacers should be strongly discouraged, and anyone using a pacer should have that fact noted in the race results and should not be eligible for any prizes or awards
• P- = pacers may be OK for weak/marginal runners, but I would never use one
• P0 = I don't feel strongly about pacers either way
• P+ = pacers are tolerable for races longer than 50 miles and/or to help runners who are inexperienced, timid, undertrained, etc.
• P++ = pacers are fine—elite runners use them to set records, I've used a pacer once or twice to extend my range and/or tackle a new tough challenge; occasionally I've paced friends and have enjoyed helping them
• P+++ = Call me "Rabbit"—I'm a professional pacer ... need help?
• Pd = my dog is my pacer
• PG= God is my pacer

^z - 2009-01-18